Rob’s life has been as full of peaks and valleys as the Rocky Mountain region he calls home. From a career as a chef serving presidents and international diplomats to suffering through multiple accidents, over 16 surgeries and experiencing homelessness, to hear his story is to listen to the journey of a lifetime. Over 40 years later, though, his next chapter is just beginning.
It can happen to anyone
From the early 1980s through the beginning of 2020, Rob had a successful career as a fine dining chef, working at places like the Canadian Embassy, fancy restaurants, college campuses and sports stadiums. To the outsider looking in, Rob had it all – a lucrative career, a loving wife, exhilarating hobbies and an easy life. What we see on the outside isn’t always the truth, though.
Throughout the 40 years of his career, Rob also suffered unbelievable tragedies. His mother had cancer and passed away, his wife had cancer and passed away, he was in multiple car accidents with long-term injuries, needed multiple surgeries, suffered abuse from coworkers and bosses, dealt with homelessness and had multiple near-death experiences.
Rob’s been through a lot.
“I don’t think people realize just how much life I’ve lived and the context that’s required to share how I’ve reached the place I’m at now,” he said. “My story isn’t a simple or quick one – it has a lot of players, a lot of pain, a lot of joy and a whole bunch of determination to survive. I’ve been really lucky in some ways – in experiences where I should have died and I survived unscathed, especially. I’ve also dealt with more than my fair share of tragedy and loss. It’s hard to get people to understand just how much I’ve gone through, and what it means to me to share my story.”
Memories from Rob’s life and career, shown through photos, awards, certificates and his book, “Scared of the Rhyme”
He’s also never let the waves upon waves of setbacks dampen his desire to survive. He found deep meaning in spirituality and connection to animal encounters. He discovered ways to adapt to difficult situations. He also realized that sometimes you just need mental health support from someone willing to listen. That’s where WellPower’s mental health services comes in.
It’s never too late to ask for help
While working on physical rehabilitation for a heart attack in 2021, Rob began talking to his doctor about needing to discuss his mental health with someone. He was having an extremely difficult time working for a boss who was taking advantage of him, and both his physical and mental health were deteriorating because of it. He was also living in a motel at the time, just trying to push through until he could get social security income and retire.
In April of 2022 he began working with his WellPower clinician, Dulcie Austin, LCSW.
“Getting to speak with Dulcie has given me an opportunity to share what’s going on in my life to someone I know will listen,” said Rob. “My wife used to be my sounding board, but when she passed, I lost that and began to feel so isolated in my life. Being able to talk to Dulcie helps keep me grounded in reality and helps me to gauge my reactions. She’s a person I trust, and I really look forward to our sessions.”
While working with Dulcie, Rob has made incredible strides in his recovery. The biggest step was even admitting he needed help.
“Coming to therapy is a big deal for older adults, especially folks who have never done therapy before,” said Dulcie. “Rob went from being unhoused and living in a motel to getting housing, getting back into his hobbies and writing a book. These are huge accomplishments, of which he’s very proud.”
One of Rob’s greatest passions is restoring vintage and antique rare bicycles.
It all starts with stability
“When you’re in it, all you can do is react to what’s happening in that moment,” he said. “You’re stuck in the experience and the trauma. What’s helped me so much is having a place to live, and then being able to get social security. Those two things took the pressure off, which allowed me to look to the future and process what’s happened to me.”
“I’m able to focus on my hobbies and the things that give me joy now. Having a stable place to live and a reliable income gives me the space to work on all of the other issues in my life, too. I’ve had so many medical problems over the past 40 years, and never really had the time or emotional place to process what’s happened to me.”
With housing, an income and the stability both offer, Rob has been able to channel his mental health recovery experience into a book of poetry, titled “Scared of the Rhyme.” He recently had it published, and it’s one of his greatest accomplishments.
“I’m not looking to make money from this book,” said Rob. “I want people to read my poetry, to hear my story. I think my words will resonate with someone, somewhere, and knowing that what I’ve put into the world could help someone else is what I’m most passionate about. With Dulcie’s help, I’ve been able to step back and see the patterns in my life, and by writing those down in poetry and sharing them publicly, my hope is that my journey can be what helps someone else get the support they need, too.”
“Edge of Time” – excerpt from Rob’s book, “Scared of the Rhyme”
I am the warrior on the edge of time
In this time some say that I am living three lifetimes
Too much for one mere mortal trying to comprehend in vain
A never-ending journey to the end
With surprise and tragedies along the way
Just keeping you in line, not to sway
For some intended purpose, not know yet
With confusion and repurpose you carry on
Cautiously and continually looking for the edge
Not knowing how far ahead
The warrior’s journey can be long
Because his life’s destiny is about being strong
He is not stronger than time itself
Surrendering in the end on the edge to time itself